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/gov/ - Governance & Politics

Glory be to the Eristocracy!
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 No.1[Reply]

This board is dedicated to the discussion of Governance, which takes precedence over the discussion of Politics.
The main purpose of this board is not about saying something is wrong, it's about seeing how it could be done right via policy.


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 No.522[Reply]

if they can do it, why can't we?
How do we get more discordians? no matter what breed.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.528

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 No.529

>>526
>and our infant mortality rate is the among the lowest in the world
How's the crime rate?

 No.530

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>>529
It's 2. Every crime is worth two crimes.

 No.531

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I looked up the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_anarchist_communities
and guess what the longest lasting anarchist community was?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frisian_freedom

HAIL FRIS

 No.532

>>531
as both a frisian and an erisian i am confuse



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 No.447[Reply]

While for most people the novel coronavirus is harmless or has mild symptoms only, almost the whole global economy was shut down to protect the most vulnerable. This shows that it is possible to take health seriously, but it also highlights the many other dangers to our health that could be easily avoided, yet the rulers of our societies have chosen not to. It is time for this to change, and to protect our health the following policies are proposed. We are certain that many more will follow.

→ Second-hand smoking is known to be harmful. To avoid it, smokers from now on shall wear a sealed full-face helmet while smoking, to disallow the poisonous fumes from escaping and to allow the smokers to take full responsibility for their actions.
→ Air pollution is linked to an endless list of negative health effects, from respiratory problems to cognitive impairment. Automobiles from now on must be designed to have an air-tight cabin and the exhaust pipe shall lead directly to this very cabin. In the long term, this is expected to also improve noise-pollution.
→ Austerity and underfunding health-care has been demonstrated to have a major negative effect on life expectancy. To avoid this, a lifespan-credit is introduced among politicians. When a politician first enters office, their life expectancy is noted in a database as their lifespan-credit. This is never reset. However, before voting on any law, that law's effect on life expectancy is estimated, and after voting, the amount is reduced from those politicians who voted to approve it. For example, if reducing the funding of healthcare is projected to reduce the life-expectancy of the poorest 5 million by 5 years, every approving politician's lifespan-credit is reduced by 25 million years. There is no way to increase the amount of lifespan-credit or to transfer it among politicians. However, once a politician runs out of their credits, they are summary executed.
7 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.516

>>515
We should make garlic FARTs instead.

 No.518

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>>516
garlic FARTs are vaporware

 No.519

https://z0r.de/757
What is the name of this song?

 No.520

>>519
Rick Astley-Never Gonna Click That Link

 No.521

>>519
Nevermind, found it, it was "Break My Stride".



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 No.502[Reply]

People who disappeared for criticizing the state
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.505

>>505
In fact, there wasn't even any states back then, to tell you the truth.

 No.506

>>502
In this picture there are 47 people who criticized the state.
All of them have disappeared.
In this thread I hope to show you ways of not being seen, the most basic of these being a simple 'vanish' magic trick.
If we are lucky, we may even witness the OP of this thread disappearing. What a treat!

 No.507

>>506
>In this picture there are 47 people who criticized the state.
>All of them have disappeared.
They are hiding in the house on the right. Well, not hiding. Hungry. They went to eat haggus.

 No.510

Even this thread had people who were disappeareded.

 No.514

­



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 No.508[Reply]

It doesn't matter what side you stand on, these riots are good for everoyne.
Praise Chaos. Hail Eris, all hail Discordia.
The destabilization of America only means more people will be looking for purpose in the flames.
The USA must fall so we can divide the land. Every 500km2 its own episcipality. It doesn't matter who you are, the USA is the sole superpower, it's the whole world's enemy. Once it falls we can decide our own fate.

 No.509

Looks like Discordianism and Accelerationism goes hand in hand, for now.

 No.511

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 No.512

>>511
That's pretty daring for a german

 No.513

>the USA is the sole superpower, it's the whole world's enemy
Well, except for PRC and Russia. How can we stop them from destroying the inevitable Epistocracy?
Maybe we can drop Russian propaganda and AK rifles all over Dong Kong and the Republic of China, then spread PRC nationalist graffiti and dumplings all over Ukraine and Georgia.



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 No.96[Reply]

You are waken up from your sleep by a loud knock in the door. Grogged and drowsy, you make your way to aforementioned door, intrigued by this rare, early disturbance of your solitary existence. Beyond the door you find a particulary angry paramilitant of Local Peoples Freedom Thugs (which you've never heard about) who's going around conscripting everything with a pulse against its still unknown enemy.

How do you plan to tell her to kindly fuck off, or do you prefer to submit as a pawn in Big Boys RTS-game?
9 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.117

>>113
>implying plastic dicks count

 No.129

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>>110
*blocks your path*

 No.338

>or do you prefer to submit as a pawn in Big Boys RTS-game?
You know, everybody loves games. What's wrong with being part of one? Now submission demonized but if you're reading this post it's because I submitted it, so what does that say about society? I wouldn't lick those boots tho, who knows what they were treated with to get them so shiny.

 No.339

>>338
If you want to die in some collective dickmeasuring contest thet's fine, just leave me out of it.

 No.490

>>129
*kicks you in your lady balls*

Nobody but snowfall blocks my pathway. I paid good money for it and I'm late for work now!



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 No.485[Reply]

>>483

##admin wrote:
> i don't know what is wrong with
> you, maybe try finding followers
> for your anti-sports campaign on
> facebook instead.

i know what's wrong with you. you mistook centralized moderated facebook and anonymous imageboard.
you're trying to create your fictitious order by using silent deleting comments and bans. you're discrediting discordianism.
i can recommend that you shove a soccer ball up your ass and take a picture of it to show your sincerity. since using a banner with Goddess with apple in her ass - in my opinion - is also an attempt to discredit Eris, in case you don't similarly shove objects in yours.
considering how you use moderation and bans on an anonymous imageboard and what images you use in the title, i think you're common agent of the order

please post a photo of you with an object up your ass or a picture of your mom with an object in her anus to show that you didn't try to discredit Goddess with your banners(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.491

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if i could fit a football up my ass, i'd be making porn instead of imageboards.
>you're trying to create your fictitious order by using silent deleting comments and bans. you're discrediting discordianism.
stop spamming dumb ass bullshit. You can voice your opinion, you can't have it plastered all over every wall.
>using a banner with Goddess with apple in her ass - in my opinion - is also an attempt to discredit Eris
I can totally get that, and maybe it is a bad idea to have porn for a banner, but this is a NSFW website and there have been Eris porn threads since 8ch. Criticism, interpretation, praise, or sexualisation of Eris is fine in my opinion. The only rule I have is against impersonation. Claiming to be Eris doesn't fly for me. I'd say these values were similar in ancient greece, where deities were often seen as sexually superior.
>considering how you use moderation and bans on an anonymous imageboard and what images you use in the title, i think you're common agent of the order
I don't prefer order or disorder, they're both part of the greater whole of chaos. You completely ruined the balance of this by spamming your shit all over, being a nuisance in the name of disorder. Keep the balance.
Stop ban evading and spamming /gov/ with unrelated bullshit.

 No.498

>>491
> Criticism, interpretation, praise, or sexualisation of Eris is fine in my opinion.

But not criticism of prostate activity - like soccer. You cannot tolerate it - for you it is sacrilege and temptation to the holy of holies; not recognition of the greatness of highly paid footballers who defend the honor and dignity of national teams.

So you use moderation, message deletion and various tricks to hide your priorities. You don't tolerate that kind of chaos and discord related to the prostate soccer.

 No.499

>>498
I've been trying to read this post 5 times over, but it's just garbage thrown over a keyboard.
if you're trying to do a gimmick at least try and be funny..

 No.500

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>>498
>that kind of chaos and discord
>implying copy and pasting the same chunk of text four times in to a thread is either chaotic or discordant

 No.501

>>498
Hey, anon.

Respond to this post so I know that you read and understood this.

The reason the admin is banning you isn't because of your opinion. The first few posts were fine, you did nothing wrong then and the admin didn't do anything then.

They started deleting your comments only because you then wrote the same comment every day. It's redundant, boring, a waste of bandwidth and since you just ignored previous replies it was ruining anyone's attempts at discussing your opinion. No-one else on the site wants to see the same boring post many times in a row, so they started to get removed.

You kept doing this so the admin gave you a three (3) day ban, according to your screenshot. You evaded this ban. Because you evaded a short ban, your posts are no longer welcome on this website.

Do you understand?



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 No.454[Reply]

Hello and excuse me.

I'm a president of a middle sized oceanian state and it has come to knowledge that im hugely underqualified to the job.

Therefore I seek your guidance, since I've been lurking this politics board for over 30 years now, and while it has recently been ruined by shitposting and conspiracies, I know in my guts that the brilliant political theorists that used to reside here are still around.

Elections are just around the corner and that damn communist party leader is running again with their promises of healthcare and food for the starving population. That idiot doesn't understand they are starving for reason. If I gave them food, the peasants would be strong enough to throw me out of power!

Anyway, the commie is gathering support and the time is growing thin. How do I spoil this brats plan to ruin my fun? I've grown accustomed to presidental palace, and the work has made me too tired to arrange moving to another place. There's not even another house big enough to hold all my stuff.

Somebody please help!
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.461

To the most highly esteemed President Kush,

We sincerely believe that the strong alliance between Church and Party has been fruitful for both of us and its continued existence would benefit the population of Ociania. For this reason we were very sad to hear about your decision to not raise significantly the funding of the Church this year. As if the rumours about Your Excellency falling for a life of vice and dishonesty, and last years decision to reallocate the funds promised for the renovation of the Cathedral to the building of your seaside resort wasn't enough, we feel like God has forsaken our glorious country.

It is painfully clear to the followers of our Lord that the godless communist scourge is punishment from God. But fear not, the faithful will always emerge victorious. Because our God is a loving one, every punishment is a lesson to learn from, a challenge to overcome. There is still time to repent your sins, rekindle our bond and restructure this year's budget.

Yours most faithfully,
Highest Reverend Cush of the Church of Ociania

P.S.: Our scholars has been researching the most ancient documents in the Church's archives and might be able to find the links that connect your family to the founder of the once great Ocianian Empire. But no matter how vigorous in spirit, their stomach still needs feeding…

 No.462

>>461
You greedy swines!

I let you practice your religion in my island. I even repressed all the local belifs with propaganda campaings and death camps. All because you told me, whole bunch of christians can survive with one slice of bread for months and you seek no earthly riches.

Every year you demand a bigger slice of budget, and every year I tell you to go fuck yourself you hypocritical piece of shit. What would you even buy? A church? You should be happy with your shack. There's even running water every time it rains.

God is on my side because I'm rich, handsome and good looking. You think you are going to get His respect by sticking your tongue up his ass.
Speaking of which, you left a terrible stain on the computer rooms chair. Is the only one on the whole island with wheels. Send one of your choirboys to lick it up!

 No.463

Yeah, so that's pretty much why we don't like President Kush.
Could you give us your churches' support, Reverend Cush? We can split the mansion 50-50 and then continue fighting each other after we do that.

 No.464

>>457
Attempting to strike a deal with the capitalists, Komrade? You are aware that we explicitly forbade this course of action at the last committee meeting, are you not Komrade? Attempting to use the system to subvert the system is pure folly and it will not be tolerated, Komrade! Continue to stray from the party line in this manner and you will be expelled from the party faster then the people's water rushing out of the jacuzzi jets of our public bath… Komrade.

 No.484

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The Oceanian State of the Union Address was a particularly raucous affair this year. President Kush, who has been accused of attempting to rig the upcoming election, tried to address the situation head on by twerking in the general direction of the communist party members of the legislature. At first he was greeted by whistles and cat calls by party loyalists, but then the minority communist party members rushed the podium intent on showing their displeasure. Here, the communist party members can be seen trying to deliver the once seated sitting president a collective spanking. Kush's cabinet members were able to pull the President to safety before any blows were struck upon his executive hindquarters. When asked about the unruly scene, a communist party member remarked, "Kush's twerking may have worked to appease us in years past, but he has really let himself go and even though some may like a bit of junk in the trunk, as communists we view his jelly booty as an affront to the meager diet that the least amongst us are forced to live on." At the time of this articles publication, President Kush could not be reached for comment.



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 No.477[Reply]

This is a fake discordian website. The owner of this site is a grayface agent who uses bans and deleting messages with criticizing of professional sports and pro-state ideology.(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.479

FOOTBALL IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOUR PROSTATE HEALTH! YOU SHOULD EAT FOOTBALL DAILY! THESE MESSAGES ARE SPONSPORED BY FIFA!

 No.480

FOOTBALL IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOUR PROSTATE HEALTH! YOU SHOULD EAT FOOTBALL DAILY! THESE MESSAGES ARE SPONSPORED BY FIFA

 No.481

FOOTBALL IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOUR PROSTATE HEALTH! YOU SHOULD EAT FOOTBALL DAILY! THESE MESSAGES ARE SPONSPORED BY FIFA

 No.482

>>479
>>480
>>481
Shut up disinfo shill jew. You need to rectally insert football weekly for any real health benefits.

 No.483

i don't know what is wrong with you, maybe try finding followers for your anti-sports campaign on facebook instead.



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 No.466[Reply]

Perhaps the earliest editions of the first national constitution and declaration of human rights, as well as the Bible, were made using human skin
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthropodermic_bibliopegy
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.468


 No.469

I am also bound in human skin.

 No.470

Are you a book, literally or figuratively?

 No.471

People say that I am easy to read.

 No.472

>>470
> Are you a book, literally or figuratively?

My mind is an open book for ya honey, you can read me as you like
My mind is an open book for ya honey, you can read me as you wish



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