Before, I lived a completely normal life. I was an ordinary terrifying evil doing the most ordinary evil things. Various heroes tried to find me, but by deceit and manipulation, I killed them all.
And now I find out that pathetic squirrels want to interrupt my precious existence in the name of the forces of good! The squirrels sincerely want a charming evil like me to disappear from this world!
Therefore, I ask you for the phone numbers of Sauron, Naraku, Agent Smith and all other decent people. We must unite in the struggle for our existence!
