/eris/ - Discordianism

I'll make sure to remember this once I get in the mood for schizoposting.

>>232
Good. We could pitch in ideas, concepts, shitpost about discordianism the way the old guard like Bob Wilson and Greg Thornley probably did. Just keeping the idea alive and evolving somehow. Or not.

discordians are probably too lazy to get into writing these days, and too old to learn how to make new media. I'm afraid we'll have to start over, seeing as discordianism is slowly dying out, someone will have to make a hip new basis to fit the times.

>>260
There has been constant flow of new text and even couple books recently.

>>260
Even just a collective of essays along with OC abstract art with a discordian theme to it could work for me, given the lack of material produced. Out of all things, I came across discovering Discordianism from a graffiti at a bar I used to go to.
Hail Eris! Repent where there shall be three. was the message. That's the only time I ever came across anything discordian in my area ever since.

My vision of it was a collective of works of modern Discordians reflecting on the topic, almost 60 years later. The book, the relevance, the legacy of it's underground status as a classic. There's plenty to offer on the topic. I could publish a few short texts whenever I can be bothered to type it down on a spare moment.

As the format, it would be easily converted to a .PDF file for any media that can read it which is readily available. People have done this before.

>discordians are probably too lazy to get into writing these days, and too old to learn how to make new media
Shows what you know, this poetry thread had original content.
https://web.archive.org/web/20190804032930/https://8ch.net/eris/res/119.html
It's a shame the images are all gone, I might try and get 8kun to restore the images and archive them. Speaking of images, I created that OP image. Chicken Balls Z

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Thanks OP for sending me an advance copy of the first issue, it's pretty cool if I do say so myself.

>>398
That's pretty great. Fuck it, I'll help make a magazine.
What do Discordians want to see in the first edition of Erisian?
My potential ideas:
>a few art pages (visual art, poetry, music, etc.)
>puzzle pages
>discussions of philosophy, cabals, saints and games
>highlights from various online communities (e.g. most popular recent posts on erischan, discordian forums, discordian subreddit)
>TROMAnimation panel question regarding Eris's inclusion in Billy & Mandy >>>/b/2046
>sightings in the wild (of either Eris or discordians)

>>398
OP here, pretty damn great cover.
Liking the name too.

>>404
I'd write an article or two but at the moment, i'm stuck with some finals to do for the next two weeks. I'd definitelyat least write one about RAW though.

As far as submission of works go, should we use something like Pastebin or does someone have a better idea?

>>415
All good, we're not going to rush it out in two weeks.
>should we use something like Pastebin or does someone have a better idea?
As long as no-one needs to login to view it, I'm fine. Sites with less bloat and trackers are preferred. Pastebin works fine for long text without formatting, it's probably best to use Pastebin or Zerobin (https://bin.privacytools.io), Pastebin is easier. If you need to keep formatting then I guess upload a .pdf here and we'll talk about it (if it's just a bit of bold and color then I can copy that no problem).
pomf clones (like catbox.moe) can work for assorted files, but if you want to submit images or pdfs then just upload right here if you can.
Always keep editable filetypes saved where possible (don't send a .pdf without having a source file on hand in case we agree it would be better off changed). Don't compress or reduce quality, that's the editor's job!

If you want me to organize stuff and compile the 'zine, I can.

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Just make an email address and let people send their submissions to you.

I'm trying to make a constructed language for Discordianism, but it's hard to choose what theme and style fits it best.
Currently choosing a limited amount of cool-sounding syllables and putting them through a gibberish generator. I'll then take cool words from the gibberish generator and use them to replace words in Toki Pona. When we've got our own strange version of that conlang, we can start changing its syntax and adding our own words.
I wanted to go with a latin vibe, but after testing it, I'm not too sure anymore.

"er","na","re","va","ta","nus","ra","ro","qo","ver","par","ner","is","ha" produces something like;
vaqoroverner. ha ha narora par reqo. rais ta paris iserro isva. raqoer nus re. reqo nertais isverro er par ra ha.

"I ducked the point hurling towards my head and made my way to the nearest hot dog stand"
-poor misinformed erisian

You may have hear the rumor about the demise of our beloved Discordianism. IT IS NOT TRUE. Discordianism, while it might have ceased its kicking, is very alive at the time of me writing this. But as with all things, time has taken it's toll. As the punk scene has grown to a bitter middle age man groping teenage girls, discordianism lies in hospital bed with several different types of cancer and very severe nosebleed, and all you greedy, fetid relatives have gathered around to squabble about the inheritance.

Shame on you! Everyone knows a True follower of Discordja doesn't play by the rules. I myself have already counterfeited multiple versions of the testaments, promising teeth, toes, or fingers shared between over 300 individuals (you do the math). You thing wanking Eris's flaccid dick is going to give you some special treatment? She despises you fools. While way ago, some have taken her teachings and ran. Ran to achieve GREAT THINGS, while you kept parroting shit about hotdogs, turkeys, and whatnot.

Discordia died of boredom.

And YOU killed her.

>>420
I made this place specifically to avoid any further hippie joke forefront shit.
Hotdogs, turkeys, "le randumb silly thing". We can do better than this.

>>418
Nah, I'd prefer an open collaborative process.

>>420
Absolutely wasted GET.

>>418
>>422
Actually, email isn't a bad idea. I'll set one up tonight.

>>421
It's an article dumdum. To flesh out the whatever thing you know. The thing with hot dog jokes in cover you know.

>>421
Wow this guy is SERIOUS!

>>425
I'm a REAL discordian unlike you schmucks!

>>427
No your an obvious parody. Try harder.

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>>427

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Unless I hear complaints worth hearing, I hereby appoint myself the first saint of magazine editing.
You may contact me in this thread or at at: erisian@airmail.cc

I will take this early opportunity to discuss contribution guidelines. Tell me which fit snugly into your frame of preconceptions, and which are full of shit.

>these guidelines must be followed at all times except at any time you dont agree with them.
>to ensure quality and transparency, articles will always be posted or reposted here for peer review before publication. find the construction inherit in our destruction and mutate your article until it becomes kind of ok. that doesnt mean be conformant, rather, be valuable.
>pseudonymous contributions (preferably, but not necessarily, 'Pope [X]') are highly recommended. you may use an infinite number of pseudonyms. you may be impersonated at any time however it is preferred that any impersonation be intentionally imperfect and obvious to detect. attention seekers beware.
>unironic political content is likely to be rejected as off-topic or low-quality. only be as edgy as you need to be.
>declare sources (url preferred) for anything you did not make, including pictures you found on google images and any anon posts. you do not need legal permission, I simply wish to give credit where credit is due. credits will be on that page at the end no-one reads. you may request any crediting name on that page for your content so long as it isnt impersonation.
>be less of a cunt than everyone else

>>424
I think I see the useful idea you are getting at but I feel it needs better execution in the third paragraph. To me it seems somewhat hypocritical (and not in a good way).

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>>430
This is the original, there was no hole.

>>431
You're right.
It's like drawing van Gogh with two ears. For much of his adult life it's correct, but it's a defining characteristic of him.

I'll do a short article on 136199 Eris, who was proposed as a tenth planet before being snubbed, inspiring the debate and discord surrounding the infamous removal of Pluto from the list of planets.

Over the past few years, I have learned to be skeptical of commercial news, but I found myself falling into the trap of blindly trusting the news skeptics! Like many others out there, I was bamboozled by this new crazy age of free information and discourse, by the contradictory insights and opinions and claims and analyses. I needed to learn how to find out which websites I could trust if I ever wished to find any truth in the universe! In my chaotic scrambles across the web, I uncovered Discordianism and their Goddess of Discord. If anyone understands this mess of a world, it must be Her!

That night, I found Eris and began to pray:
"In these confusing times, I seek your guidance, o Eris Discordia. I beseech thee to teach me. Is it true that-"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"No."

And I was enlightened.

>>430
Post a few signs of being a greyface and we'll compile 23 of the best. Add pseudonyms to your name if you want credit.
e.g.
>Being uncertain about something might possibly make you anxious sometimes, depending on various things.
>You can accurately write down a diary entry for tomorrow.
>When you read this article in a mirror, you don't understand where all these new 'dronf' words are coming from.

>>432
Feel free to change it: https://files.catbox.moe/08dyxi.svg

>>437
Thanks for the .svg . You get the final say on this decision (with or without are both canonically acceptable). I'll edit the gap in if you approve.

>>436
>You read all of these in order.

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OP again. I'm proud of you cabbages. I didn't expect you guys to actually go through with it. I'll post some ramblings here if it's in text only. Wrote a small article about RAW, covid and the concept of a reality tunnel and tuning out from all the misery and despair we currently live in. I need to finish it though.

I'm just contributing this meme I stole from Facebook for now. Enjoy.

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[first draft. reasonably scientifically accurate.]

This is an article about 136199 Eris.
136199 Eris is a big round thing in the Solar System, discovered about three halves of a decade ago (Setting Orange Chaos 5th, YOLD 3171) by three Popes, named Mike Brown, Chad Trujillo, and David Rabinowitz.
This thing is pretty big. Not quite as big as Earth or Mercury but almost as big as Pluto and far heavier. Don't say that to 136199 Eris's face though; you'd totally lose in a fight.
Because of it's Plutonian size, NASA released an initial report titling 136199 Eris (nicknamed 'Xena', probably because NASA don't know Greek) as the new '10th Planet' of the Solar System. However, before they could send an official invitation, another bunch of astronomers called Eris a big troublemaker and then callously Snubbed both Eris and Pluto from the list of planets in one astronomical blow. Even to a distant planetoid like Pluto, that's just cold.

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As if we hadn't learned already from history, snubbing Eris is the absolute surest way to start a massive fight (followed closely by political discourse and hitting someone in the face, respectively)
The demotion of Pluto to a 'dwarf planet' caused immediate and widespread outrage among people who had known Pluto for their entire lives. Astronomers started releasing scathing comments. Magazines started releasing waves of articles. Book publishers started releasing newer overpriced textbooks. Students had to buy newer overpriced textbooks. 'Plutoed' became the American Dialect Society's Word of the Year. Popular culture had changed forever. It is speculated by Erisian Magazine that after a few millenia, this snubbing may cause Pluto worship to see a revival in interest similar to that of Eris in the past century.
However, as a cruel retaliation for the chaos Eris brought upon the astronomy community, it still remains the largest object in our Solar System that has not been visited by a spacecraft. Once again, Eris has been snubbed and has become the scapegoat.
So, next Pluto Demoted Day (Bureaucracy 17th, quite appropriately) we ask that you commemorate not only the snubbing of the Ninth Planet (Pluto) but also of the Tenth Planet: Eris.

(The International Astronomical Union (IAU) have not yet provided a statement to Discordians, Erisians nor Eridians (the alleged or future inhabitants of 136199 Eris) regarding their reckless crime against the universe.)

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>>442
https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/Эрида#Символ

    Symbol
    Eris, unlike the classic planets and old dwarf planets of Ceres and Pluto, has no official symbol. One of the symbols of Five fingered hand of Eris symbol.svg, known as "Hand of Eris", is the most widespread. Also used is the Eris symbol 2.svg[24]. Astrologers are most interested in this issue and use the following symbols:
    the "all-seeing eye" of Eye of Providence.svg suggested by Zane Stein,
    Eris symbol variant.svg, proposed by Henry Seltzer,
    Eris-symbol-Poland.svg, popular with Polish astrologers[25].

>>448
UNICODE did add the unofficial symbol though. ERIS FORM ONE ⯰.
Submitted 2016, added in Unicode 11 in 2018. Most fonts don't have it covered, but it is very much a thing, even if not considered official by the IAU.

>>448
What's it with the Polish?

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Did you know? 5 is a holy number in Discordianism because on the 5th of the month Eris - with the assistance of the Erinyes - gave birth to Horkos, the personification of oath.
So every 5th of the month in the Discordian Calendar we celebrate Horkos's peculiar viciousness that day and see if our friends truly do hold to their truth by playing board games together! Whoever cheats is taken away by Horkos himself, and thrown off a cliff!

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How much more content do we need for a 23 pages long issue?

>>458
Just use bigger font and leave blank pages

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>>458
>>458
Add images explaining important discordian concepts

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I donate the following two pages for consideration, in case some of you might find either of them slightly amusing.

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>>436
>You are unable to fully appreciate how Eris's elastic golden lessons shine bitterly invisible.
>You are reading through this magazine in order from the first page to the last. No, don't start reading backwards from the end either. Close the magazine then come back and try again.
>You consider yourself enlightened.

>>461
Nice! You will most likely find both included.
I was going to make an index at the start instead of a table of contents but I think your idea is better.

>but I wonder if there is a demand for such a thing.
Let's create the demand! Don't post or make Discordian magazines for the past 10 years and then, when people begin to notice them missing, sell ours to all those suckers for free.

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I've been planning on making a VN at the style of FSN and Dies irae, using discordian ideas.

there are oats in the throat of a goat on a boat in a moat.

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>>490
the boat with a goat in the moat is afloat.

I'll start compiling an alpha negative-third draft of the magazine some time soon.

bump for interest

>>535
Alright then, I'll be interested.
I'll chuck a few articles in over the next two days, show you how empty and undecorated it is so far and hopefully that will motivate you all.

I wonder how much inspiration MAD magazines could provide. There are certainly bits and pieces that would fit right in.

>>398
Hey Pope, do you still have the source file or a  vector file?

>>546
I have various versions here: https://files.catbox.moe/ohyb1u.7z

>>547
Awesome! I can now export that cover completely vectorized.
I'll add some text pages with draft, undecorated articles later today and upload it.

>>548
Which today?

>>551
Two day.
Minor but unavoidable shit happened and I switched to a different art software.

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This was mocked up in very little time. No design effort was made.
Half the pages are missing and half of the rest are placeholders.
At this point, content and ideas are the most important thing you can help with.
There is content in this thread I have not included yet. Don't worry. I haven't forgotten, I just rushed and forgot. I'll add more stuff from here next time.

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>>553
I have to admit that I am a bit disappointed that our Polish friend's constructed language did not make it: >>>/b/1563

We might need to translate the Principia into it. We could publish it in segments, a page in each issue.

>>556
I'd be in favor of an Erisian conlang. If only there were more than one word. At least 5 are required, that or 23 characters custom characters.

>>553
Holy shit this is good. It's getting that style. I wonder if we can make the style of a gossip magazine compatible with 1960 typewriter shitposting

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>>556
That's a good suggestion, I'll make it happen.

>>558
Excellent, style coming through means there's potential. That parodic faux-professionalism is my kind of humor and it's good to see it working.
>1960 typewriter shitposting
I've always been interested in historical shitposting and old memes, so I'm curious if you have some examples of it.
Semi-related: ancient Pompeii graffiti.
https://web.archive.org/web/20171221031857/http://www.pompeiana.org/Resources/Ancient/Graffiti%20from%20Pompeii.htm

>>553
The 23 Signs page on page 5 is obviously a placeholder but I've come to like the SAMPLE TEXT off-topic list contrasting against the gossip mag slick layout of the cover. I might just do it like that and have a proper 23 Signs on page 11 pretending that first one never happened.

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>>557
Wisdom is not in forcing four unnecessary words into the language but realizing that there's 1 (one) word with 4 (four) characters. 1 + 4 = 5.

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>>548
How did you export the XCF vectorized?

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>>563
I didn't.
I used it to help create a clone in Inkscape.

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There's room for a couple more poems on the poetry page before I make it more pretty (original works please, don't steal).
If you want to be credited on the credit page as pope something, put it in the name field.

>>436
Post some or this magazine won't happen.
There's at least 10 pages to go, there are plenty of easy ways to help out.

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>>584
How can I help if I'm too square for creative things?

>>588
>How can I help if I'm too square for creative things?
Prove to me that you are.

Writing is probably the most accessible way to help, such as short poems made in ten minutes or koans of wisdom. Non-fiction is also acceptable for the magazine, if you do feel truly unimaginative. Simple suggestions for 'signs that make you a grayface', articles about your thoughts on Discordia or relevant quotes, etc., all help. If you want, you can try to add Discordian flair by editing your work to make it non-non-nonsensical, redundant, self-contradictory, redundant, grammatically absurd, or anything counter-normal. You appear to think you have the curse of grayface, but you should be aware of the blessing of grayface; you have extensive experience with normal and can analyze it systematically. Once you see the parts that make things normal, you can identify, disassemble and change them. What is normal in a magazine? Top-to-bottom, left-to-right? Page numbers? Rectangular blocks of single-colored text? Images that actually relate to the articles? Headings related to the articles? Articles?

You can even help me out and write an article academically dissecting the nuances of the drunk Polish anon's conlang, linked earlier ITT.
Compiling parts of existing works, like collage, can also be accessible. You can download GIMP, add some images and play around with in-built effects and filters and layer blending options, you can make some wild stuff quite easily once you explore a bit.

Erisian art has a hidden benefit in that a layer of irony can be assumed, so inexperienced, unconventional art has an advantage, as well as anti-art. You could add a full-page image of a urinal and the reader will try to analyze it.

If you are not confident submitting art because it's 'not good enough' (whatever that means…), do not worry. We can take inspiration from it, understand the ideas within it and create a successor work. Fine artists don't draw the final image on their first attempt.

CONTROLLED OPPOSITION
and how to avoid being part of it

You might have heard about controlled opposition, and thought to yourself: "Oh boy that truly sounds like a club worth joining".

DON'T BE FOOLED!

Controlled opposition is a term coined by some conspiracy nut like two or three months ago, and what it actually means is when state or some other scary faceless collective that everyone hates funds resistance against itself. I know, that sounds fucking idiotic, but stay with me. Imagine you were living in a quasi-totalitarian state led by beloved General Dickhead. General Dickhead has a charisma of a dead mollusk, doesn't know shit about running a state, and is at best patronizing  and at worst murderous towards majority of the population under his rule. For some reason people dont like General Dickhead very much.

Now, General Dickhead isn't stupid and he knows resistance movements will pop up. He also knows that guns, tanks and other shit required for succesful lynching of a statesman are hella expensive, so the terrorists shall be looking for likeminded investors to aid them in their righteous task. Investors themselves will gain influence over the movement in the traditional "fuckin do as we tell you or well cut the moneyflow" kinda way. So General Dickhead can himself call the shots by investing into the resistance by proxy, and eventually neutralize any too competent individual before they reach too high of an rank in the organization.

(cont.)

This of course brings up a scary question for the few of us that actually oppose stuff anymore. "Am I one of the fools?" Those with tendecy for paranoia and delusion may start to see controlled opposition everywhere. Worry not! Here is a simple, foolproof guide on how to not accidentally take part in controlled opposition:

1. Don't resist. If you just submit there will be no chance you'll be part of controlled opposition.

2. Don't have control. If you absolutely need to resist, don't do it in planned, thought out, or coordinated manner. You better just throw some stuff around, idk.

Following either, or preferably both of these points are the best, scientifically proven way to avoid doing the establishments work for them.

>>591
>>592
I didn't really want politics in the magazine, but I feel this is sufficiently neutral, well-written and on-topic to include.
Also is it just me or is my screen now glowing after loading this post? I turned all the lights off and now the screen is glowing really bright…

>>597
>Also is it just me or is my screen now glowing after loading this post? I turned all the lights off and now the screen is glowing really bright…
No, me too. That post by the feds must be a fedpost!

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>the magazine business
The magazine business, you say? What sort of magazines are we talking about here? ;^)

I don't mean to be fedposting, but…
glowing intensifies 

With some pages still left to be filled, the following comes to mind in regards to filler, should it be needed. Many magazines have advertisements, no? Surely, the Erisian shitposters gathered here, whether we be a handful of anons or just the chorus of voices in Admindudes head, could come up with some amusing riffs on products that don't exist or should exist? Would submissions of this nature be welcomed? Would that be a help or a hindrance to our editor in pope?

>An advertisement for that solid gold strap on dildo there was so much talk about?
>An advertisement for purebred Erisian catgirls?
>An advertisement for spray on greyface repellent?
>An advertisement for (or review of) the release of an unreleased Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy OVA featuring Eris?
>An advertisement for Bob's sacramental brandy and cigars, fit for any and every pontification? (Wish I would have thought of that one when RAW was fundraising in old age)

Just spraying some bullets against the wall here to see what might hit the target. I hope that other pope/dweller/cabbage's might run with, riff off of,  or improve upon these ideas.

And thanks to the pope/dweller/cabbage who took the initiative to coordinate this project. I'm an old oddball and miss oddball print zines from the 80s and 90s and will even settle for oddball PDFs that I can print out myself and leave in oddball places for other oddballs to find.

SIGNS OF BEING A GREYFACE AGENT: 
>You have yet to be deplatformed from facebook, twitter, or youtube.

>Even though you have mastered the ability to levitate you still stub your toe from time to time.

>You have yet to be able to figure out how to spell "fnord" in conlang.

>>605
>Would submissions of this nature be welcomed? Would that be a help or a hindrance to our editor in pope?
And tarnish the integrity of this artistic endeavor with petty commercialism? What the hell were you waiting for?! Give me 2% of the revenue and you can put all of them in!!

To be honest, I am a fan of all those ideas. The spray-on repellent would make for a perfect ad (do you spray it on yourself or the grayface?) as would Bob's Brandy. Maybe the good ol' Kallisti strap-on could be recovered in an archeological excavation article naïvely trying to guess it's purpose? Or maybe it would be better as a big ad to shake up the traditional perception of Discordianism.
If possible, it may be good to have an arts and news page compiling real stuff (like visual art people have made, references in pop culture, music about Eris on Bandcamp, and the /icup/ results) and put the OVA review in there so it may really seem like one is coming soon. should we draw a frame of it in a shitty 2010s bland style like the PPG reboot??????????????????
Possible inspiration: this obvious satire that was treated as serious news by fans who look at headlines and get angry https://cynicnomore.com/2016/04/13/cartoon-network-to-reboot-johnny-bravo-in-2017/

As a side note, I would like opinions on how we should treat erischan in the magazine. This is intended for a general audience so it will probably be shared elsewhere.
My current viewpoint is that we shouldn't censor things like the /icup/ which are directly related to the place, but at the same time we should never directly mention the site, ever. On the last page, possibly mention in fine print that this magazine was created in a cabal so secret that only those who look for it will find it.
Basically anyone who cares enough to search up quotes from the magazine or look into it is likely to find this place anyway, but we don't want to say COME TO THIS SEKRIT CLUB and deal with a wave of culturally ignorant newfags.

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>>605
>An advertisement for Bob's sacramental brandy and cigars, fit for any and every pontification?
Is this 50's man Dobb-y enough to pass?
I was thinking of a fixed-up version of this (and possibly with a newspaper print filter to imitate the original image, like second pic), then a picture of a close-up of the bottle and cigars on a table.
Any ideas for the ad text? Maybe "Wine of the SubSommelier" or "What the Salesman Buys".

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>>611
Checkin' them Dobbs
Dos Equis guy BTFO. The leader board for the most interesting man in the world has been adjusted.

I like both the ad texts that you proposed. Maybe…
>"Wine of the SubSommelier"
for the glass in hand part
&
>"What the Salesman Buys"
as additional text for the close-up?

>>608
>Give me 2% of the revenue and you can put all of them in!!
You're too modest! I'm prepared to offer %200 of the revenue after the taxes that I refuse to pay due to un-conscientious objections.

Thanks for all the suggestions and improvements to those ideas that I typed up in a fit of boredom. It's great when others take ideas and run with them. It looks like a Pope is already working on the brandy concept. 

>>611
Nice!

>The spray-on repellent would make for a perfect ad (do you spray it on yourself or the grayface?)
Good twist. Since it looks like the brandy thing is being worked on, I started searching for some vintage ad copy that depicts things in spray canisters that could be altered and remixed. I'll expand that search to look specifically for spray on deodorants and perfumes to see if I can be inspired to work in that twist.

Keep in mind that I am a dedicated life long procrastinator that is always juggling various projects and I promise nothing… aside from the %200 of revenue.

>>609
>how we should treat erischan in the magazine
What you said. Sounds like a good perspective. Maybe any reference to the icup could be written as a larp as if it were a real thing? Referring to it, but not referring to it at the same time?

I currently plan to release the zine on 10/10/2020 (40 days from now). This can be delayed but it's such a pretty date.
There are around 11 pages left (that doesn't include any idea after post 598, or the Polish conlang idea, or the credits page, so we have core ideas done for about 18 pages).

>>615
>Dos Equis guy BTFO.
The most interesting prophet in the world is certainly an effective salesman.
>Maybe "Wine of the SubSommelier" for the glass in hand part & "What the Salesman Buys" as additional text for the close-up?
Good idea, will do that.

>>616
>I started searching for some vintage ad copy that depicts things in spray canisters that could be altered and remixed.
Great, that will really help me out.
>Keep in mind that I am a dedicated life long procrastinator that is always juggling various projects and I promise nothing… aside from the %200 of revenue.
Can definitely relate.
>Maybe any reference to the icup could be written as a larp as if it were a real thing? Referring to it, but not referring to it at the same time?
I think I understand what you mean, write as if it were a real match, not literally saying that it's the /icup/ or virtual soccer. That sounds good.
I am 50:50 on whether or not to include an image (such as keeper being yellow carded) because it would probably break that illusion.

>>617
>I am 50:50 on whether or not to include an image (such as keeper being yellow carded) because it would probably break that illusion
just put as many filters over it as you can find.

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I was thinking of adding a pipe in his fingers (or mouth?) and that's about it.
opinions, suggestions, missed pun opportunities? I don't know much of The Church's culture.

>>619
>just put as many filters over it as you can find.
I love you.

Requesting one or two songs or bands you think are Discordian music.
Possible relevant thread: https://erischan.org/aes/res/94.html

>>583
>There's room for a couple more poems on the poetry page

spectacles testicles 
brandy and cigar
i can see kallisti 
written across the stars
her locks are unfurled
in parallax views
but there aint no cure
for the excommunication blues

>>621
If memory serves, The KLF were influenced by Discordianism, but I'm not familiar enough with their catalog to know where any references might be.

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>>623
I had seen the name before but had never learned about them. Wow.
They were certainly influenced by Illuminatus! and kept putting 23 in things even your post number.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_KLF#Illuminatus!
That said, as far as I know only one song mentions '23 years' and that's all.

>>624
>Wow
Yeah.

Their music never really resonated with me… The JAMs just weren't my jam, but I came to appreciate their aesthetic and stunts as I read a little bit more about them over the years. I do vividly remember seeing this music video when I was very young and my mind was blown in a little kid way that I couldn't quite put my finger on at the time.

The KLF feat. Tammy Wynette - Justified & Ancient
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8m27PWv1rzM

A few years later I picked up Illuminatus! and Cosmic Trigger and then read the Principia shortly thereafter.

You've waited long enough, now it's time for…
DRAFT v0.2
[CONFIDENTIAL, EAT AFTER READING]
Mirror 1: https://files.catbox.moe/mrqlv6.pdf
Mirror 2: https://anonfiles.com/Lcf3l2R6ob/draft02_pdf
→←
We still need some more content. The Repellent Spray, Conlang and Credits pages are missing, along with a second Arts and News on page 9 which I would like real (non-fiction) suggestions for. Discordian films? Discordian related events? Content or suggestions for the other missing pages are needed, feedback and suggestions for every page is welcome. We can't fix things once it's published.
→←
Anyone who has contributed, even if it's just an idea suggestion, please send me a message (in this thread or an email) saying what you did and the pseudonym Pope name you wish to be credited by.

>>626
Wait there's an IRC channel? Did you leave me out of the ERP?!

>>627
It's a honeypot for identifying Bavarian Illuminati agents. They are still buying it.
But speaking of ERP, I think there was a short-lived plan to dedicate one page to "How I Found Goddess and What I Did to Her When I Found Her: an Erotic Fanficiton". Yay or Nay?

>>621
Aquarius by Boards of Canada contains a number sequence that ends in 23. In the third version of the song, this last number is uttered 5 times in a row.
One number in the sequence is sixty-ten; 60 - 10 = 50.
The 5th element, orange, is also referred to constantly throughout the song.

>>629
Huh, I didn't expect fnords of Canada to be relevant. I haven't started listening to their albums but I remember liking a song by them I had heard, and them being sampled in Blank Banshee - Teen Pregnancy.
I might bump them up my backlog then.

>>436
> you actually expected there to be 23 signs.

[Header] Emergency Hotline

[Text is justified, in 2 or 3 columns.]

[Bold] In this column our experts answer your questions regarding anything that might be troubling you! Don't be shy, contact us today!

[Italic] Dear Erisian, I had an argument with who I thought was my best friend and I don't think I want to hail Eris with them anymore. How could I excommunicate them?
[Right justified] Jake, 14

Dear Jake! Even best friends have disagreements sometimes, it's just the nature of things. First, take a deep breath by slowly filling your lower lungs using your diaphragm, then filling the middle parts of your lungs by expanding the chest. Continue filling the upper parts by lifting your chest. Retain the breath for a few seconds, then let the air go. Repeat four more times. Once you have calmed down, recall all the happy memories you shared with your friend, how happy you were together, all the things you used to do. They chose to betray all of this by disagreeing with you, that little fucker. They have it coming and you shouldn't hold back, declare them excommunicated. Pat yourself on your back, they won't dare to mess with you ever again!

>>632
[Italic] My son is a computer programmer and his birthday is coming up soon. I am not very good with computers and have no idea what kind of gift to give them. Could you help me, Erisian?
[Right justified] Eleonora, 68

Dear Eleonora! Happiness is the greatest gift to give, and everyone is happy to help their femilies. Therefore, we advise that when your son visits you, you should ask his help in fixing your computer. Of course, to let them show off his skills, you should prepare your computer for them. Change any setting you can find to the most extreme, install a few browser toolbars and try to infect your computer with ransomware. Prepare the patient with care. If you are comfortable with opening up the case of your computer, try putting the carcass of a rat inside it, and complain to your son that your computer was making weird noises. Your son will love the little surprise inside the box! Most people love to brag, so make sure that during the whole process you tell him everything that you can dream up about computers, so that he can correct you! He will be very happy to show off all his computer knowledge!

it looks very good but the praying to eris part is strange, praying is a taboo in discordianism, worshipping isn't.

>>634
It's not taboo as much as just being a bad idea, likely to make matters worse.
The idea was supposed to be consulting your pineal gland to speak with Eris, which is not taboo at all, but I couldn't think of a good title to say that and thought prayer was fine to say.

>>632
Perfect! Do you want this page in the middle or near the end?

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In case there is still space remaining, here's a go at the greyface repellent ad concept. First draft. Shit on it, suggest improvements, or remix as you will. It's all good.
Slug-A-Bug as Grey-B-Gone

>>636
5/5 breddy gud
Misspelled fragrance though, and for whatever reason the text blurs starting with "size"

>>637
>Misspelled fragrance though, and for whatever reason the text blurs starting with "size"
Thanks for catching that. I'm surprised there weren't more typos, since the image editor I was using doesn't spellcheck. If there aren't any other suggestions, I'll work those kinks out and repost when time allows.

10-10-2020 is the proposed release date, right? A good number. If there are any other revisions or submissions, is there a better date to have them in by to avoid any last minute hassle?

>>636
I love it! This is getting a full page for sure.
>typos
I found about 5 typos after uploading Draft 0.2 (including 'Titos', twice, in a faux-serious article. So you are right to ask about a revision to aim for. How does the 1st sound? I think that's achievable now that most of the harder graphics pages are in the bag.
>So pure you can eat it
Perfect sell, inspires true confidence!
I would like to edit the end of the first of the two paragraphs to add emphasis on spraying it at people's faces (accountants, guests or even yourself!) Would you like to try that?

>>639
>I would like to edit the end of the first of the two paragraphs to add emphasis on spraying it at people's faces (accountants, guests or even yourself!) Would you like to try that?
That's a good idea. I particularly like the idea of spraying house guests, since the ad has a domestic vibe. Edit away if inspiration strikes. All things being a perpetual work in progress. I'll work on other revisions as time allows. Plenty of time between now and the 1st.

I was half tempted to rewrite or add to the two paragraphs, since they were just a first go at riffing off of the original ad. One idea was to have customer endorsements written in at the bottom somewhere. Maybe preserve the original layout and have endorsements by where the additional cans once were.

Maybe something like…

I spray myself down with it every morning! Thanks Grey-B-Gone!
-Graham Fenderson

We've even started using greyface repellent in the bedroom on those special occasions. Ooh, la la!
-Mrs. Fenderson

I used to have a stable high paying government job with a guaranteed pension until I was sprayed in the face with Grey-B-Gone. Discordian aerosol products saved my life!
-(not sure who to attribute this to yet)

Mom and Dad make me wash my mouth out with greyface repellent every night before bed. Grey-B-Gone tastes great too!
-Grahm Fenderson Jr.

Quality product! Top notch! fantastic stuff! I'm even considering adding Grey-B-Gone to our municipal water supply.
-Joshua Abraham Norton

>>638
> 10-10-2020 is the proposed release date, right?
You are 2010 years late with that, not to mention that October only has 31 days.

>>641
no no you're wrong
he's 1166 years too late and there's only 5 months in a year.

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Has anyone here watched/read KonoSuba? I haven't, but I needed filler about animation so if you could check that this actually makes sense, that would be great. Or not.

There's one last slot remaining on the arts and news pages, so any factual suggestions are welcome.

>>640
Is there enough room? I do like the two paragraphs, maybe them and a quote or two if it fits.

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>>645
>KonoSuba
Haven't seen/read that, but I'm curious now and will check out an episode or two. Picrelated is the only other anime I was aware of that featured a character named Eris.

>Is there enough room?
Yeah, might run out of pixels with that image.
>do like the two paragraphs
Cool. Will stick with that then, after writing in the additional spray in the face gags, spell check, and touch ups.

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>>632
I made a page from this and learned how to justify columns, what do you think?
(I will decorate it later but this is the layout I was thinking of keeping)

>>646
Western culture:
>Eris is a manipulative, spiteful bitch who wants to make the world burn
Eastern culture:
>Erisu is a cute and kind young waifu woman that everyone loves
I suppose in a strange way, it's fitting.

>>648
You should make the In this column… part bold like on the other side.

>>648
Epic emergency hotline, but I noticed the following in the second column.
>this lady just chucked and said "No they haven't".
chuckled?

Also, Pope Josh may have misspelled seriously as serously, but being that he's only 13 that could just be some zoomer thing that the kids are doing these day?

That was a fun read.

>>649
>You should make the In this column… part bold like on the other side.
Done. The reason I didn't was so that it didn't draw the reader's attention to it at the start, spoiling the joke, but it's just painfully inconsistent without the bold.
>>650
>typos
You were right for both of them. Thanks for that. (Eris was neither throwing her hotdog nor throwing up)
I'm glad it was a good read. I reread the start of the Principia and felt the magazine could benefit from one of those crazy-revelation stories.

>>651
It also looks like Eleonora and Pope Josh were not properly justified.

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>>636

>>654
Huh? Jim Davis is writing for this magazine now? I thought he had been excommunicated for plagiarism and banished to an overpopulated island for his crimes?

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>>626
On page 4, what color is the heading?
It's meant to be a brilliant yellow, but a couple of pdf programs seem to be showing it as orange. If none of you are having that problem, I won't bother fixing it.
>>655
Davis is in a constant cycle of excommunication and communication due to a schism stemming from praise of his infamous Pipe Strip and strong critique of his later works.

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>>645
>watched/read KonoSuba?
Watched a bit. So far, there has only been one scene with Eris and she came off as you described her… kind and gentle. So far, she does not seem to be "our girl", but there was mention of a secret she told the main character that has yet to be revealed. So, who knows? She may be sowing seeds of chaos from behind the scenes. Either way, I'm not sure it matters, due to her name and the fact that what you wrote about it was funny. Also, the following stood out to me as a synch of sorts. The coin of the realm is called Eris and one of the adventures involved harvesting/slaying flying cabbages, for which they were rewarded a great deal of Eris. What with the Cabbage/Anon naming convention, I had a laugh about that.

The image here is another revision of the Grey-B-Gone advertisement. Tweaked the text and ended up tweaking it some more so the columns would look decent.

I should have mentioned earlier; I have responded to the email from 'hacker' over a couple of weeks ago. The provider of erisian@airmail.cc has recently started being blocked sometimes due to spammers abusing the service, so let me know if you did not receive the response.

>>667
Nice, I might have to give it a watch some time. Also, good to see the new ad, I like it!

>>667
Saint Seiya is an older anime which also has Eris in it, as the maint antagonist.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Seiya:_The_Movie

>>675
Wow! Thanks for posting that. Already downloading a copy. I had never heard of that one before and thanks to the Wikipedia entry, I can now type/copypaste Erisu in moon runes!

I hope it doesn't suck… in any event…

エリス is best girl

>>676
it's an unpopular late 80s anime! what could possibly go wrong?

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Eris has been my girl for a while long now and I just recently published this book of poetry


amazon.com/dp/B08J2R4LD8

Make of it what you will my lovelies ^~^

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Three weeks until publication!

>>706
Is there still lot to do?

>>707
17 pages are done or almost done (including the Grey-B-Gone ad).
5 have not been started, 3 of which have no idea proposal so far.
Worst case they can be made in 20 minutes each but I would rather not do that.
The other 1 page has a section that will be taking up a lot of my time, so do not hesitate to contribute elsewhere.

>>708
How about an cut and glue DIY article. Find your favorite heading, picture and text from old newspapers lying around your house, and glue them in presented rectangles. Is that doable, or just plain stupid concept in a virtual zine?

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>>709
I don't have a scanner, but if you do then have a try and see what you can make from it.
>or just plain stupid concept in a virtual zine?
Irrelevant question, but even if stupidity was a bad thing, it's not stupid at all. There are pictures of the original Principia pages floating about, You could make a Frankensteinian creation from it, mixing up text from different pages or papers. I would love to see that.
I was looking for pic related 1 and found pic related 2, which I don't think could be better but does serve as some precident and potential inspiration.

>>711
too political, imo

>>712
I agree, and low-effort political at that. I get that it's a book cover but it's still lame.

>>711
I ment more like, the reader does all the work, ikea sort of article.
[insert header here] etc. + instructions

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Stop violence against zine authors!

>>714
Should it be an almost blank article, lots of emptiness, with a paragraph explaining that we all got bored and they have to make this article themselves?

>>716
Yea sounds good. Im lazy and dont wanna think.

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>>716
What about an IKEA pictograph showing how to do it?

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Draft 0.9 shall be posted here in the next two days.

1) any contributor, please send (publicly or privately) an alias or two for the credits page. Otherwise I have to spend five seconds inventing a crappy one for you.
2) Don't expect anything in it to be fixed unless you mention is specifically. All suggestions welcome. Think it needs more typos? Think a paragraph would be better rotated 90 degrees? Too much black text on white? Does a joke not work at all? Say so, that's what the 0.9 draft is for.
3) @hacker sorry for the week late reply, that is a good idea. that notation makes it much better and to think I would have done it the painful way!

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10 days until release.

Revision 1
Mirror 1: files.catbox.moe/dpua9r.pdf
Mirror 2: anonfiles.com/3805N6a4p6/draft09_pdf

Known issues:
>excessive filesize, some images could be compressed better
>p09: redacted section at bottom [almost finished]
>p17: tobacco tin, not shag tin
>p18: learn to spell San Francisco
>p19: redacted page [finished]
>p20: "typefaces and cuisine" was filler, replace with something
>p21: to be created
>p22: to be created

Anything else? Say so ASAP.

>>774
it's looking good. pages 3 & 14 looked like they were off center or cut off. maybe that's a known issue? i double checked in a couple pdf viewers to be sure it wasn't just a glitch with how i was viewing it. are we supposed to eat this version after reading it too? if that's the case, i might need to make a beer run before i finish it so that i have a chaser for when i'm done.

>>784
Thanks!
>are we supposed to eat this version after reading it too?
You are supposed to dispose of it but since it's a pre-release version and not an alpha version, eating isn't strictly necessary. A simple incineration will suffice if the store is out of drinks.
>pages 3 and 14
Both were done intentionally.
TOPSECRET: On page 3, the first limerick never had a starting line (and I can't think of one that fits, to be honest) and the first on the right was never a poem at all. No content is missing. Same with page 5.
Page 14 was intentionally cut off. The original plan was to have the start of it on a different page and have the interview just run sideways across two or three pages.
Page 3 is off-center and poorly spaced vertically , I can fix it if desired.

>>774
If you are still short on content, I would be honoured if you would include this brief exploration in your journal, although I understand that it might not fit the overall style.

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>>789
>starting the list at 1
Thanks for wasting a char after nine items, I'm already dealing with filesize issues here!

This page shall be included. It preaches the truth, plus Discordianism and programming goes hand-in-hand.
Requesting permission to append an editor's note (pic 2)
Nitpick: point 7 uses "It's" (it is) instead of "Its" (ownership; English sucks). Do you want this corrected or kept?

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>>790
Here's an updated version.

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5 days!

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pls give pseudonyms
it's really easy

>>794
Angela Merkel

>>794
Would "Pope $0.\dot{3}$ III" work? I'm not good at English.

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Oh, and also say what you are taking credit for, if you want. Otherwise they will just be in a general section, which is fine too.
>>796
Is pic what you mean? I'm not good at LaTeX.
>>795
Fuck it, why not. Pope Angela Merkel. I'll throw them in as our Polish Conlang proofreader.

Why does everyone be pope something? Can I be pope ye?

>>799
You can be anything you want to be.

>>800
Why do I want to be so boring?

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>>794
Here's the REDACTED you requested for the REDACTED REDACTED in reference to the REDACTED and the REDACTED

>>802
[REDACTED] you.

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It's getting close enough to violate a restraining order…

Draft 0.93
[CONFIDENTIAL - IMAGINARY FRIENDS ONLY]
Look, I re-encoded the images so that it's under 10 megabytes!

Notes:
>a couple of small shitpost changes were made, like rotating some of the 6th page text slightly and adding little drawings. ideas welcome.
>page 9 footer intentionally redacted
>page 16: fixed 'femilies' in Eleonora's reply. Was this the right decision?
>page 21 now exists. should it be swapped with an earlier page like 15 or something? page order suggestions need to be done asap
>'developized' is intentional

Compatibility is generally fine in my testing (not that inconsistency would really be a bad thing), the only noticeable things are certain PDF viewers having slight font rendering differences (a Firefox variant was the only kinda-crappy one for page 10), some showing the page 6 rotated text as bumpy, various text-highlighting oddities and a couple of rare old viewers showing the page 4 heading as orange instead of gold.

>>804
Why are there ass editors where there's not a single ass in the whole magazine?

just waiting for all the timezones
fuck timezones, by the way. eris's worst curse.

>>812
Don't open this, it is counterfeit. All the previous drafts were posted by Pope, while this was posted by . Let's wait until Pope posts a genuine version.

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>>813
YOU WOULDN'T STEAL A MAGAZINE

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>>812
this is some cool shit, props for working on it so much despite the small community.
now where do we shill it?

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10/10
It's nice to see the final product. Good work!

>where do we shill it?
There are those random PDF dump threads and a few chans have PDF boards. 8 & 9 come to mind. I've come across Lainchan's Lain zine in places like that.

I'd like to print a few copies and leave them in locations where people might find them by surprise. Hadn't settled on what to do about the 23 page count though. Could do six folded pages, for ease of binding, and leave a blank back cover? Would that be an excommunicable offense?

>>816
>Could do six folded pages, for ease of binding, and leave a blank back cover? 
Why make the end blank? You can just stick the filler page in the middle so the page numbers ignore it. Or invent a Möbius magazine.

>>815
Almost 503 years ago, Martin Luther nailed his ninety-five feces to the door of a church. We must do likewise.
A QR code link with a relevant picture underneath could be fun. An off-site copy is hosted at git.disroot.org/erisian/magazine/raw/1

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>>822
>A QR code link with a relevant picture underneath could be fun.
so something like this?

>>823
I pictured a cryptic icon (hand of eris, chao) or the front cover, but that style is much nicer.

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>>816
I was supposed to check out Lainchan a year ago but never got around to it, they seem chill and it looks like they have developed a good quality community. I didn't know they had a zine! I'll give them a read. Can you tactically shill there, or is it a faux pas? Hopefully someone there will appreciate the crypto humor buried at the end.

>>825
Lainchan is garbage, all the cool posters went to Arisuchan.

>>826
all the cool posters went to Erischan*

>>826
I read the installgentoo page to get background on lain and arisu (dead site is dead), anything else I should know? What makes you say garbage?

>>827
All 0 of them.

>>828
We are lukewarm and comfy :)

>>828
0 is better than nothing.
I wasn't much interested in the lainchan drama, but here's a quick overview
https://archive.arisuchan.jp/q/res/2221.html
also appleman uses an apple laptop, which kinda speaks against the whole "cyberpunk" mood.

no clue why we're discussing this here by the way

In regards to distribution of the zine, i'm all for posting copies of it in pdf threads everywhere. Only thing i'll ask is to not spam in the name of erischan on other imageboards. You'll be giving us a bad name. thanks.

>>831
I thought we were supposed to keep its origin secret.

>>831
>>832
In the end of the contributors page (21), it says:
>This zine was conceptualized and developized in a place so secret that only those who look for it will find it
That's my current view. We haven't done anything to hide that it was us, but we aren't ever directly advertising our community (a few more users here is a gift but not really the goal). I naïvely feel this could act as a 'pleb-filter' so that only interested people will find us from the zine, not those who need spoonfeeding.

>>831
>Only thing i'll ask is to not spam in the name of erischan on other imageboards.
This. Share, not shill.

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>>825
Has anyone ITT shared a copy of Erisian on Lainchan yet? There's a share thread on /lit/ where it would be on topic to do so.
https://lainchan.org/lit/res/4953.html
Asking because I didn't want to accidentaly double post if it has already been posted there in another location.
>they seem chill and it looks like they have developed a good quality community.
That's been my experience there
>Can you tactically shill there, or is it a faux pas?
If tactically shilling means sharing on topic OC, then mods should be cool with it. Have submitted to Lain Zine in years past, so I have a feeling anons there will get it. Seen the Principia posted in past share threads on /lit/ IIRC
>Hopefully someone there will appreciate the crypto humor buried at the end.
Yeah, I'd think so.

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>>846
I posted it on wirechan

>>846
>Have submitted to Lain Zine in years past, so I have a feeling anons there will get it. Seen the Principia posted in past share threads on /lit/ IIRC
Perfect, please do. That's exactly what I meant, actually posting it as a legitimate contribution like >>847 was able to rather than spam. This anon tried and failed: >>678 so you can learn from their mistakes. See https://anon.cafe/pol/res/115.html#117
I've been settling into Lain and posting on the overboard for the past week but didn't share the Eriszine so please do.
I've actually started reading a few of the Lain zines, including vol 4. I can't believe that code  took all that time, Lainon!

>>Hopefully someone there will appreciate the crypto humor buried at the end.
>Yeah, I'd think so.
And also the crypto buried past the end.

>>848
>please do
Shared it on the share thread. Had a laugh about the letters that appeared in the auto generated name. A slight synch there. Masami Eiri, a character from Serial Experiments Lain.

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>>847
was lurking there the other day and checking out the OC thread when… (picrelated)

Mandatory reading for all the new converts. Welcome (to die in most painful way in a eternally escalating circlejerk)!

>>812
Grab a copy if u want, it's free!

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I would like to boot this thread back up for 3RISIAN, the third installment of the one-part series.

As is pattern-like, we should have a front cover. I would like to suggest a polished, A4 remake of this.

>>2960
Should I like flip it 90 degrees to fit the dimensions or what?

>>2961
Nah, I can vectorize it and do the effects properly, it's more just asking about the concept.
Starting in #2 I think we wanted a different representation of Eris for each cover so it didn't get boring and blonde all the time.

I'm working on a piece of long-form gonzo journalism. I'm still deep undercover, this is the last message you'll hear from me before I post a PDF containing my findings.

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…..so I found the original 00002 edition draft that basically wasn't used at all so it's now the Brand New 00003 draft.

>>2977
Just use an Eris chatbot to fill out some pages. They'll generate paragraphs of shit for you.

>>2978
I think we should aim higher than shit.

>>2979
Flying baby shit then. Either way, feeding them some good prompts will turn out a decent chunk of text or five.

>>2980
I propose we do next mag page by page, opening every page for collective editing for a week, and going with whatever it ends up becoming

>>2978
no

>>2982
They were always supposed to be collectively edited, from day 1, but no-one* really jammed off anyone else's pages.

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Personal Ad Take 1
===================================
The original document has being edited to  fit the following format.

If you happen to know who has edited it, please let us know. We are very upset.
===================================
Lonely Pope seeks Divine Inspiration. Lonely Pope claims to have met Eris and  hit it off well; he now wishes to impress her. Calling on winds that drive him onward he is stuck in place by a hefty weight. Please send D.I. or any donations to the (K)Straddler of Fences Temple(K) Located under the Jovian Sector of the Ether, Earth, a few decades after OM began.

Fuck we lost everything from the vol 3 thread didn't we?

>>2985
No, not everything. In fact, some would say a healthy amount. Chaos has become our executive editor.

Life is amaze; 
and what? you why?
Forsooth, of late, I wanted to die.
And as I stared out from in, 
the Goddess appeared, did fill my head.
"Lil man," Quoth She, 
"Tis good for thee I come. 
For much the shithead thou were hencefrom;
And thou seest My Mysteries in a manner all wrong. 
Thou dost not know nor what my riches be;
All I now declare, lend thine ear to me:
Wide is the world of man and small and cold; 
Where points shall meet, thus will Chaos unfold.
From waters deep and full, Confusion flows;
The actions from which all entropy grows.
My symbol from the banquet door was cast,
from heaven to earth, Discord came fast.
My grace, think thou, as an economy;
Mortals take from me all Bureaucracy.  
And at the last, for fear you are too dumb;
I shall hide Aftermath, until your lesson is done."
This lesson she never told me, I do not know
Bade and quoth she, "Listen here, now:
For I am the great goddess Eris;
Of all Divine, I am the Fairest.
And the Powers which preside in me
Is with you and all the Gods forever."
"You Are FREE"
These words a worldly man did chance to hear,
Who daily watched the world but nay the near.  
And yet She meets with me and everyone, but tells them not what they want to hear.


>>583
I know I'm probably late (and that it's too damn long). But I don't mind if i am. I just wanna share something I've been working on for a while. 

if

How does this magazine thing work? 

I just want to get though this arc with a couple timelines where I don't lose, and stalling isn't working anymore.

>>3064
We are waiting for the first draft of the cover art to arrive

>>3065

Do you know what the cover is supposed to look like yet?

>>3066
If we go with the old theme there is some sort of representation of Eris with tits to catch the attention of consumers, then we add the title and some funny sounding headlines to help with further writing.

>>3065
don't wait, DO!

>>3067

I like tits and ass.

>>3068
I was actually hoping somebody else would get guilted into doing all the hard work.

https://shithole.neocities.org/way

here bros. this is what i compiled while tripping balls on dxm. it wat lead me to discordianism cus peopel said its close so anyway. good luck everyone and have fun out there

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>>3071
it's shit, even for dxm

oHiV i have the original .odt file but this is an.pdf
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ZOMG!!!11!

>>3073
Fuck yea. Let's start editing from the front page. Pope Whoever did a great job but I think with collaborative creativity we can blow it out of the park. I pick a random number of alterations, after which it will be complete. Now get to work mindless slaves!

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My suggestion for a coverpage should be artistic and eye-catching. Something art-deco, perhaps?
PErhaps we should just plagiarize some cool looking page from a fellow discordian
 
though ad space could let us put funny personals in

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My draft for new and improved front page. I aimed to fix some glaring issues in the last version::
-no tits
-no eris
-no magazine title

TO BE ADDED:
-ads
-issue number
-feet pics
-whatever

If you got improved version of any part of the collage on mind, just plop it in there. None of this needs to be visible in the final draft.

REQUESTING ALL EDITORS ABOARD

The cover looks like shit.
It lacks joy, color, glitter, fnords, eyecapturing visuals, headlines that activate fight or flight response, and most importantly work. Can you really say a cover is finished before it has accumulated working hours worth of lifetime of an average to small mammal? This will not do. You, dear reader have now been promoted to the main head editor president of the Erisian vol.3 and the corporation expects you to sacrifice part of your lifeforce to make the product shine like an used aluminium cooking tin abandoned in the desert of the real. Now get to work or I'll haunt your doomscrolling with mental images of hippos shitting all over your favorite boyband.

Yours truly.
Main head editor president of Erisian inc.

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2

>>3089
greatgrandmommy milkers btfo

>>3091
AND HIS NAME IS JOHN RASTA

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>>3092
I'll leave this here. You better not take a single puff while I'm gone.

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>>3093
*puff*

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I hereby declare the cover page ready. We now move onto working on the inside page ad. Please make it nice and pretty  we got loads of money for this one.

>>3141
Which is prettier, lime green on purple, or rusted sewer pipes?
I don't trust myself to make the decision.

>>3142
Rusted sewer pipes if theres graffiti. Otherwise go with colors.

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hi I go way back with the Temple of Eris and have actually been Authorized to publish the Gospel According To Eris, which will hopefully happen within the year.

>>3149
Hi, can we steal this snippet of text and make it into an article, we're really desperate here.

>>3150
feel free to contact me about it and I'll tell you more if you need to flesh out an actual article.

I used to be in journalism myself, I know how it goes.

noveltylanterns@protonmail.com

>>3151
We will spam you with poems about rubber bands

>>3152
my Swiss mailbox is protected by a spell backed by Eris herself. any spammers will find themselves with serious cases of Digestive Disruption

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>>3151
give some quick feedback on ERISIAN (vol.1) pls
- - > >>812

>>3152
Office ones or gymnasium ones? Gym rubber bands scare me.

>>3155
I dig it.

I'm not normally assigned to this part of the Temple, and I had heard doubts about this place being legitimate, but I can see a lot of work has been put into this. Feels like an old fashioned zine.

>(vol.1)
that 1 fell into place. vol II felt like a rough draft and it was like whatever. sophomore jinx as she willed it. hopefully the third time will be charming. where are we at here?

>>3157
I did the second magazines editorship in a psychotic episode, you guys shouldn't have let a manic guy be the editor.

>>3158
I did half of the name necromancy for The Gospel According To Eris in the middle of a three week DXM binge.

For science, of course.

>>3157
We have the cover, we are working on an ad now, but the pace is sluggish

I think you guys would get a kick out of my books

files.catbox.moe/4s8yl4.pdf
files.catbox.moe/f21v69.pdf
files.catbox.moe/82sced.pdf
files.catbox.moe/irz98h.pdf

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>>398
Where did this utter malarkey come from, Eris does not pad her chest! Her soft, jiggly, ample bosom is all Goddess no fluff

If dubs I'll learn to use gimp and produce some graphics

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>>3167
Oh well, I guess the release is delayed for another month :^)

>>3167

Use Krita, not Gimp. Krita much more ergonomic and productive.

>>3170
I'll roll for that next week I guess

>>3166
>writing that down

any good FOSS software for zine editng?

>>3175
Scribus is okay.

>>3176
isn't it dead since 2016?

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INCOMING NEWS WIRE

FOR IMMEDIATE AND/OR EVENTUAL RELEASE

ERIS AND MARTIN LUTHER SPOTTED IN SEATTLE, ANNOUNCING THE REOPENING OF THE CAPITOL HILL AUTONOMOUS ZONE, AND A PUBLIC DECLARATION OF WAR ON DISCORD.

>>3179
SEATTLE IS THE NEW SAN FRANSISCO?

>>3179
epic of you to put those up the day after sunday

>>3181
it was a couple days before, I was just lazy about posting it here. someone grabbed them and took them inside when the office opened.

they were laminated like crazy with packing tape, ensuring their survival in the office environment

I write tons of discordian books

>>3212
And I eat cheese and scotch in a shower. So what?

>>3213
exactly my point

Does anyone have the second volume's pdf? 
I am the editor and i sold the computer(including the harddisk) to pay for a tranny to suck my dick, now i want to get a job in a glue factory and i believe adding "worked as a editor in a prestigious digital magazine" would be better than "went insane in my room" to my CV.

>>3347
I have it somewhere on my PC at home. Will post when I get home

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>>3347
here you are

>>3349
As bad as i remember it, thank you soo much.

>>3349
Pg. 00020 (4×5) is cute.

>>3351
I used my divine krita skillz to bring it into existance(came to Erisian porn beforehand too).