/eris/ - Discordianism

2admin: 60/chs/3186

Please fix your calendar function. Today is not 60/chs/3186

It isn't arbitary, it's an estimation. People arguing for abolishing age tend to be kiddie fiddlers. How does literally everybody else think it's a good idea to wait a bit before starting alcoholism?

>>301
I Went and checked, thanks for bringing this to my attention. It's fixed.

funnily enough i lost my virginity on a certain st tibs day

>>303
Please fix it again. Today is not St. Tib's Day, today 60/chs/3186.

>>306
wait
what the fuck
fucking calendar i swear to fuck

>>307
my ddate plugin for wordpress goes crazy today too. if you want i can show you my php source code…
anyway ddate clang unix util is fine with st. tib's day

my ddate plugin for wordpress goes crazy today too.

add: i fixed it now

if you want i can show you my php source code…

>>307
and i see you fixed it too…

how you check leap year? according to gregorian or julian calendar?

Controversy

Luckily, there is some debate about how this day is to be scheduled. There are even dueling popes!
From Pope Max Flax Beeblewax:
Though the Principia Discordia says that the day occurs once every 4 years, it first says that the Discordian and Gregorian calendars are perpetually aligned. Thus, we can reason that we actually only insert St. Tib’s Day into every 4th year that does not end in 66, unless that year’s century is 3 more than a multiple of 4. For example, 3166 does contain a St. Tib’s Day, but 3066 didn’t and 3266 won’t.
And from Pope Jess Cully comes a differing point of view
The Discordian Calendar will thus diverge from the Gregorian on St. Tib’s Day 3266 (March 1, 2100 Gregorian). From 3267 to 3366, the Discordian year will begin on January 2 Gregorian.
Those who wish to express the relationship between the Discordian and Roman Calendars in an invariable way may do so thus: The Discordian year begins on December 19 according to the Julian Calendar.

>>309
thatd be greatly appreciated. I use https://github.com/stroebjo/ddate-php for the date, but it requires you to put %{ %} as formatting around the date to display st tibs, in which case it only checks whether its a leap year or not, so it either makes everything or nothing tibs day. Sorry if the site is a bit uneasy, i've been rebuilding posts just to check.
Please help.

>>311
i used this check according to Gregorian calendar (no tib's day every 100 years except every 400 years):

  $standard_date = getdate();
  $yday=$standard_date["yday"];
  // Check Tib's day according to Gregorian calendar
  if ($gyear%4==0&&$gyear%100!=0 || $gyear%400==0) {
    if ($standard_date["yday"]==59) $sttib="St. Tib's";
    if ($standard_date["yday"]>59) $yday=$standard_date["yday"]-1;
  }
 
…
 
  $ddate=$dweekday.", the ".$dday." day of ".$name_season.", in the yold ".$dyear;
  if (isset($sttib)) $ddate=$sttib." day, in the yold ".$dyear;

>>311
> https://github.com/stroebjo/ddate-php

very difficult code. wait a bit, i will upload the changes and will show you my variant

>>312
yeah my code is a huge clusterfuck
>>313
thanks, am literally going through it now. I have zero idea what i'm doing.

videogames

>>315

look to my php code:
https://dev.ussr.win/zlax/ddatefunc/src/branch/master/ddatefunc.php
this is plugin for wordpress, but you could use only function get_ddate() with simple editions
this function supports formatted return, you could get ddate in "%DC/%DS/%DY" format (60/chaos/3186)

If it's difficult, i can try to suggest changes for the code you're using.

>>317
A lot of that code is not really applicable to my situation. I'd love a better ddate class, or an addition to this one.
i didnt think leap days were this much of a bitch to deal with.

ok fuck shit  i think i fixed it
literally changed
if ($i === $stStart && $this->leapYear === true && $this->yday == 59 && $this->gDate['day'] == 29) {
on line 301
wew
thanks for the help, but through some fuckery i managed to do it.

>>319

looks like you're storing publishing time in a database as a discordian date not timestamp (unixtime)?

>>319
and fore some reason after this thread i can not post anthing from my main ip address:
"Your request looks automated; Post discarded."
i have to use vpn for new posts here. could you fix it too?

>>320
No, i store it as a timestamp, somewhere in the make-up process of the page i basically mutilated some function that is supposed to format the date and put my own code in.
I had an issue earlier because although I got st Tib's day right, i tried to put the YOLD behind the "st tib's day" but that would add an additional spacebar, which 4chan X would see as a date it would try to localize, which obviously doesn't work with ddate.
>>321
vichan is a whole bunch of fuckery and i barely know how to get it to work myself. I'll try some things.

hmmm.png
[Hide] (298.5KB, 550x535)

So, a strict adherence to the Discordian calendar is in itself a chaotic endeavor then?

Well, then… Happy I'm-not-even-sure-what-day-it-is-anymore-day!

this calendar perfectly fits a huge flux of inexplicable (Hail eris!) events that have happened to {[`'"me"*'`)) beginning around dec. 15-19 and "`ending'' on i'm-not-even-sure-what-day-it-is-anymore-did-we-skip-dimensions-day (gregorianally referred to as feb 28-mar 1). can any fellow discordians shed anymore light on the calendar or the code? or was the flux the light being shed or did the light shed (shi#3ld?)[R?} itself of somesuch something? very intrigued. thank you all for posting. fascinating.

>>325
or if there are relevant sections of the principia anyone would like to point to. ( )/m woefully under-read

>>326
>>325
basically
2020 is all sorts of fucked up.
i worshipped eris all throughout the changing of the years, from 23:50 2019 to 12:10 2020.
2020 divided by 5 is 404, and because 404 is an http error code, it is my belief that the year 2020 simply could not be found, which is why it almost immediately tried to spawn a new world war and is currently corrupting the earth with some modern bioweapon.
Eris believes humanity must suffer through Her strife. I say LET IT COME.

>>333
World wars are boring. I want a global orgy.

>>334
who said anything about a world war?
with a little luck there should be mass destabilization coming, which would benefit the possibility of the existence of a mass orgy.

>>333
nice 3s iced Tz frozen_chrono<logic&order_not_found>_time_z0n3 ? possible connection : https://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/cienciareal/cienciareal19.htm

thank you for the info

on a slightly more terrestrial/intelligible note, what do ya'll think are the chances of coronavirus (affectionately personified & worshiped & sexualized [sound familiar?] as 'coronachan' on other imageboards) ending modern civilization as we know it? i too welcome this as an exciting possible 'harvest' (https://www.lawofone.info/c/Harvest) blessing/opportunity/fear burner(generator? monsters inc), but have heard from the worst predictions it is 'only' expected to wipe out 2-20% of the population if it spreads. devastating but not the end of anything nor the dawn of a new day :(

have also heard several voices say that the Chinese lab it was created in / (intentionally?) 'leaked' from was funded by Bill Gates: https://ktla.com/news/local-news/gop-candidate-for-l-a-congressional-district-tweets-coronavirus-conspiracy-theory-ask-bill-gates-who-financed-it/

he has also pledged $100M to fight the spread of it. advanced karma burning tactics which would make Eris smile, a panicked man attempting to fix an honest mistake, or a lie to gain twitter followers? not sure, but it is all very interesting

>>334
hopefully the next plane of existence has equal parts orgy and transcendental enlightenment. balance is key, ya know?

>>339
why would china want bill gates financing a bioweapon in their third major city?
you're deluded

>>340
i dunno, but it's fun to speculate. why does the illuminati exist? what exactly is their purpose? what is a 'culling of the herd'? why do we have wars that kill thousands/millions of people?

i'd rather be deluded than make sense :) hail Eris

>>341
You dont need a world wide conspiracy to kill people, they manage that pretty well by themselves. What we have the conspirasy for is to manage to have this many alive in the first place.

>>341
fuck i wish we had wars that killed thousands or millions

>>343
Why is that?

>>344
would spice things up a bit
dont really have a reason to live atm

>>345
If you need a reason just find the person who told you you need one and beat them up. 
War is boring, dull, and nothing new. We are supposedly living peace times and still I hear about it daily. You want a war, go to a war. They literally have the middle east up in flames to satisfy people like you. Go take Jerusalem. It's the Holy City of discordianism after all.

>>342
exactly, the conspiracy may be meant to keep in check the natural tendencies of humans to overrun the planet and exhaust natural resources

see: government funded opiod epidemic, systematic oppression and funded wars in less fortunate countries, big sugar/carb/tobacco/alcohol industries, etc. there's like a 98% chance gates is in bed with em. why not kill 5-10% of the population with a bioweapon? could also identify unforseen weak parts in the media machine, test quarantine / disaster response protocols in one fell swoop? it's just fun to speculate :)

>>347
More people, bigger pyramid. I see no reason a world leader would be satisfied with a smaller one.

>>348
i'd imagine it's more of necessity / perceived necessity for them - we only have X tons of food production capability with current agricultural / manufacturing practices, and if population balloons to the point where we require X + 1000 tons of food the entire pyramid collapses into anarchy, they have to dip into their stockpiles instead of growing them, waste military time/effort/$$$ controlling riots, and their power begins to dissolve

it's not like "we're evil for the sake of being evil, let's kill people", more of advanced ways to keep the system running so that the public stays afraid and keeps buying coca-cola and Kraft products, and the families / groups in power remain in power

again i know nothing about how this actually works

>>349
I'd imagine mass death is more likely to bring the structure down, since people upholding it are dying at random. 

It's not like we are short of ANYTHING at the moment, although we are extremely wasteful by design. There's loads of food, only reason poor african kids are still dying of hunger is that the leaders are a tad racist, and more importantly don't live in africa so they don't have to suffer consequenses. Reptilians are people too you know. They get as terrified as anyone if there's a crippled person coughing blood on the street. So it's in their interests to keep at least their neighbourhood nice and tidy. They are killing people out of ignorance, which is in a way more horrible.

>>350
Great points! Steven King's "The Stand" IRL, fun for the whole family