/eris/ - Discordianism

I'm actually the world's most hardcore Eris cultist. I work tirelessly to create a Fascist world state with the Cult of Eris as the state religion. We'll have massive Holy Wars and mercilessly slaughter millions of people. Our temples will have statues of Eris, holding solid gold apples in a catapult arm that flings the golden apple into the crowd of worshippers at random intervals. Catching it will be like the bouquet at a wedding, you get to be Pope for a day.

I care about you anon <3

I'm rectualy discordian.

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>>3004
What the fuck is a discordian anyways?

>>3011
The exact opposite of an accordian.

>>3005
dont u see how fascism and discordianism are completely backwards. too much order. u dont seem to get it at all. only pure erisianism will do. fascism is still cursed

Totally unrelated but anybody remember that pointless debate we had years ago on the 8chan /eris/ which immediately devolved into most ridiculous gaslighting attempts I have ever witnessed in my long and sorrowful life?

>>3020
Get a load of this goy. You don't get to tell me how I do my Eris cult. If I want Fascism in my Eris cult, I'll bloody well have it.

>>3023
Why would you want fascism in anywhere? That's like hoping you get cancer for christmas. Honestly curious, no kinkshaming here.

>>3024
Snazzy outfits for everyone, first of all. Thirdly, enforcing the worship of Eris through the barrel of a gun sounds like fun. The Cult of Eris needs some of that crusades energy. Democracy is gay. Athenians made it so what do you expect, really. Sparta should be the model for society instead.

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>>3022
Speaking of gaslighting

>>3020
dont u see how anarchy and discordianism are completely backwards. too much disorder. u dont seem to get it at all. only pure erisianism will do. Anarchy is still cursedtoo

Idc what you label your chains as. Anarchy seems opposite of fascism, in the modern day at least. Personally I prefer an economic autocracy running on a bureaucratic level. Let people manage themselves amongst themselves and preform their abjurations. Ultimately government is just a necessary evil


And let's be fair here, my discordianism is not only the biggest, but the girthiest discordianism to exist

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>>3025
>Snazzy outfits for everyone
That makes less naked people, fuck off with your fashion sense of a balding police officer.
>enforcing the worship of Eris through the barrel of a gun sounds like fun
We tried it in 1800s, gets quite repetitive after couple months 
>The Cult of Eris needs some of that crusades energy
What do you mean, we are constantly crusading ourselves. Did you lose your eye-brain connection on your way to shopping mall again?
>Democracy is gay
If we do a stretch and assume that human sexual identities can be projected onto… governmental systems I'm pretty sure democracy would be an incel since it just keeps fucking itself.
>Sparta should be the model for society
Picsrel, you just like sweaty spartan pecs you homo.

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>>3025
nah we should have a new polytheistic religion rise, with discordian henotheism as it's secret society. Better to be behind the scenes than a passing fad.
 
As for government, we do need spartan influence. In line and with the Spirit of His Majesty, Emperor Norton I; we should have an Emperor to be the 'legal guardian' of the 'legal personhood' of governmental states. 
We must make this happen!

Democracy is tyranny of the mob! The Many against the One. Democracy is indeed gay! But it is not homosexual, it is GAY!!!!!

>>3028
>Democracy is indeed gay! But it is not homosexual, it is GAY!!!!!
So its really happy? I'm sorry, I just don't understand you.

>>3030
it's a colloquial use. which i believe that pope and i share in common knowledge. it's a tad schoolyard but, more or less, it'll mean weak, silly, ignorant, unseemly, and unmanly, or some such combination or variation. there might be few more words that could fit, it just depends on context. i believe you'll find a similar use in early south park.

polysemy is a thing, even since people are not things unless they choose to be. vivamus, moriendum est i guess

>>3031
In that case I prefer my government "gay". It's already in it's ridiculous incompetence fully capable of fucking my shit up. Wanting it to be stronger sounds kinda, how do you say it, cuck.

>>3028
Henotheism works just fine though. Eris has several offspring that might better suit your personal beliefs if you want to specialize.

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>>3032
>In that case I prefer my government "gay". It's already in it's ridiculous incompetence fully capable of fucking my shit up.

>>3034
How is FBI "gay" in the definition we're working with?

>>3035
subsidiary of the US government

>>3036
But it's an organ making US government stronger and more totalitarian. Wouldn't you agree that US governmebt would be even more "gay" without FBI?

>>3037
gay isn't on the same axis as "weak"

>>3038
I'm getting conflicting information here, how do you define "gay"?

>>3039
i doubt this is a good conversation for /eris/
also i wasn't even the original poster so blow it out your ass, much like a homosexual

>>3040
Straight people don't poo? You learn something new every day!

>>3041
>he doesn't know

Poo is punishment for faggotry. It forms out of all the cum you get pumped into your butthole. Hetero folk don't poo, they lay bars of solid gold bullion that smell like roses.

>>3037
I would say the fbi weakens the feds by dividing power further, albeit the fbi has more executive authorities over say a town a sheriff. It's strengthening something, but not the us gov. If thw gov was truly stronger for it, they would've shot John Dillinger. >>3042
Eris' has called me a shithead, I do eat a lot so it makes sense that it just ends up in my head. But I'm gay and haven't pooped in years because of this.

>>3043
The FBI is literally a tool of the USA
and the USA's ideology is to overthrow third hole shitholes so that they become US-aligned by turning the populace gay through netflix and other cultural exports
FBI just helps by suppressing idealism

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>>3044
"The USA" as a distinct entity doesn't even exist. It's a mishmash of different departments, different political clubs, different wealthy people, all with different aims.

The FBI is one part of the hodgepodge, and it's a little more organized than the ambient chaos but it's important to realize that The FBI is somewhere between an independent actor and an agentless tool to be picked up and used. Maybe a dog would be a good comparison, or a cat. A cutie widdle kitty cat oh my goodness isn't it so precious?

what the fuck is going on here

>>3046
More reason to make Discordianism stronger or maybe a cult?

XD

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I agree with literally everything you said. Therefore I am stepping down as Pope and becoming Antipope.

>>3014
No, it's the opposite of a Discordian