Back in the old days, the world was on many conflicting systems of keeping time. While three-quarters time might prevail in one area, elsewhere it was spare time or springtime or due time or ragtime.
Exactly 136 years ago a bunch of pundits from all over the world met in Washington, DC, and decided everyone should employ Standard Time (used by Standard Oil of New Jersey), based on Greenwich Mean Time (the time I was using in the meantime in Greenwich Village).
Far from perfect, this solution allows it to be one time in London at the exact moment it is some other time entirely in New York or San Francisco or Moscow.
Today, on this Daytime holiday, in coordination with Pope Crestomanci and the consensual decision of other respected Popes and Bishops of the New and Old World, we present the exact Erisian (Discordian) time. Discordian time is a single planetary decimal time. If in Christian time, the clock shows the correct time only in Greenwich Village and surroundings, then Erisian time on the whole planet is the same, that is in some places the dawn usually occurs at 1 hour, while in the reverse side of the world – at 6 o’clock. With this the beginning of Discordian day (0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds) coincides with the beginning of Christian day on Easter Island on winter time (GMT-5). This means that the Erisian day begins at 5 Christian hours earlier than the beginning of the day in London (UTC ± 0:00).
