At some point in the midst of a LSD trip Eris led me to a strange land. I found myself a chronicler to a rather strange tale I never expected to hear.
I don't care if SEGA agrees or approves. It's my religious revelation whether they like it or not.
Hear of how a Speedster met the Divine,
How the Emerald Hills and Strife intertwine.
Sonic the Hedgehog, with his azure sheen;
Raced on through the valleys, swift and serene.
But one fateful day, as he sped with glee,
A Time Ripple brought forth a Mystery.
From shadows of Chaos, with halo bright,
Eris emerged in a whirl of Pure Light.
The Goddess of Discord, stood proud and tall,
With laughter that thundered mischief for all.
Her eyes sparked mayhem; Her smile held delight,
Goddess Chaos, both wondrous and slight.
“Why do you run?” She asked bold with a grin,
“Is it for glory or just for the win?”
Sonic paused mid-stride; his heart skipped a beat,
For Chaos does charm in ways bittersweet.
“I run for adventure! Friends by my side!
To race through the world with nothing to hide!”
Sonic grinned wide, his heart full of glee,
“I’m Sonic! Who else could I ever be!”
Eris scoffed at this little hero bold
Thus a rivalry began to unfold.
With a flick of Her wrist and a winking eye,
Eris conjured a race track in the sky.
But Sonic just chuckled; he thrived on thrill—
“Is that all you got? Maybe you should chill!”
Eris saw a solace in Sonic’s Bright Cheer;
In his world of Speed, She found there no Fear.
As they raced each other through realms unknown,
Their laughter echoed, and hunger had grown.
Soon they had to stop when tired were they;
And neither had lunch that specific day.
“Let’s cook up chilidogs!” he said with cheer,
“A treat from the heart which I hold quite dear!”
Eris tilted Her head; curious now,
“What’s this dish you speak of? Teach me somehow!”
So Sonic with ingredients galore,
Showed Eris just what cooking is in store.
“First grab some hot dogs—make sure they’re just right!
And buns as soft as clouds to hold them tight!
Now we boil the water; hear it sing!”
Surprisingly good was he at teaching.
They chopped up onions; they diced up some spice,
Eris watched in wonder—cooking is nice!
The chili bubbled well in a pot of steel,
Mixing the flavors which danced with appeal.
“Now grill the hot dogs till they sizzle right!”
Eris clapped at this culinary sight,
As they grilled hot dogs over the flame’s glow,
Sonic showed his Zen—the Chilidog Flow:
“Take now the hot dogs, shove them in the bun!
This is how friendships are forged—this is fun!”
Onions then were piled high on each dog,
“After these, the chili!” said the hedgehog.
Sonic stirred it with flair; oh how flavor grew!
So poured the chili—rich with crimson hue—
So they plated their feast under stars bright,
Sonic took one bite—it was pure delight!
Eris followed suit; Her eyes opened wide—
“This blend of flavors is a wild ride!”
“Now this is Chaos,” She giggled with glee,
“From Disorder came Creativity!”
Sonic just laughed at Her whimsical flair:
“In friendship we find new flavors to share.
In all chilidogs lies laughter and cheer—
Even Discord dances when friends are near!”
Eris smiled at this lesson profound:
That even in Chaos, True Joy can be found.
With chilidogs devoured and shared free,
There they sat full and messy as can be.
“You’ve taught me Chaos can dance hand in hand—
With Friendship and Laughter across all lands.”
So sang Eris about Joy on a plate—
And together they raced onto new fates.
Thus sometimes it takes just a dash or bite
To find common ground and to end a fight.
She then crowned him, in her discordant way—
With blessings made to the glorious day,
“Hail! Sonic the Saint of Chilidogs divine!
May your spirit spread joy through each twist and each line.”
And so, Sonic, the hedgehog, with his speed and his charm, became a legend, in the realm of Eris, a Discordian saint in form. His name now etched, in these annals of history, forevermore. A hero, who brought laughter, and chilidogs, to the Goddess’ shore.
